


A Newfound Hope

by AngstyZebra



Series: Tumblr Requests [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Established Lance/Shiro (Voltron), Established Relationship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Purging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyZebra/pseuds/AngstyZebra
Summary: Bad Things Happen Bingo - Cry Into ChestRequest from anonymous on Tumblr: "cry into chest with romantic shance???? also (only if your 100% comfortable) could you maybe have lance with an eating disorder? thank you!!! <3"Warning: In this fanfic, the main character has an eating disorder which is not specified. This character purposefully skips meals and purges.





	A Newfound Hope

He doesn’t remember exactly when it began, but at one point Lance grew very self-conscious. It was sometime in middle school when he started with the facemasks and skincare routines. He thought it would make him look better. It did, for a while, but it _wasn’t enough._ Lance knew he wasn’t thin enough. He weighed more than he should, and maybe _that_ was the problem. Maybe that was why he still didn’t feel comfortable in his own body.

So he decided to start eating a bit less. He would only eat half the amount he usually would.

After a few months, though, he realized it still wasn’t good enough. Maybe he had to eat less.

So he cut out breakfast and lunch, only eating dinner. It was the one meal he always had with his family, so they wouldn’t notice.

Lance felt better about himself mentally. Physically, however, he seemed to be getting worse. He was more tired, had headaches almost every day, and felt cold all the time. It was all just a small price to pay.

Then he was accepted into the Garrison. He was happy and his family was so proud of him for getting in just like Veronica had. But the schedule required all students to be in the cafeteria for each meal. And when Hunk and Pidge decided the three of them should eat together for more “team bonding time”, he couldn’t say no.

He had no choice but to eat with them. But maybe this would be okay. He _had_ lost a lot of weight, after all. It would be okay to start eating just a little bit for each meal again. Maybe.

After eating every meal with Hunk and Pidge for two weeks, Lance decided that he couldn’t handle this anymore. He was getting too heavy too fast, which meant he would be hideous and gross and his only two friends there would leave him.

Lance had to think of _something_ before he got worse. He was currently in his dorm alone, and all of this panic and anxiety about the situation was making him sick. It’s a good think Hunk wasn’t there at the moment, because Lance wouldn’t want him to see this. He rushed to their bathroom and knelt down, releasing his lunch into the toilet.

It was then that it hit him. The food was _out of him._ Maybe this was how he could solve his problem. He could still eat to prevent anyone from becoming suspicious, and then purge some of it later. Why didn’t he think of this before?

This became routine, continuing even after he found himself shot out into space.

 

* * *

 

Currently, Lance knelt down in front of the toilet of his personal bathroom. He felt disgusted with himself as he, once again, got ready to purge that night’s dinner. He felt bad, knowing Hunk and Coran worked hard on every meal. But Lance just couldn’t let _all_ of that food digest.

_I’m pathetic._

_Weak._

_A sorry excuse for a paladin._

Lance couldn’t help but think about himself this way. What kind of defender of the universe was he if he hated himself every time he ate something? He knew this was bad for his health. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop or get help from anyone, not even Shiro.

The two of them started their relationship soon after they started watching the stars together during the night cycle. Lance would go there almost every night, feelings of homesickness and the fear of the war keeping him awake. Shiro would join him often when he had nightmares and flashbacks. They talked a lot during these times together until one day they just… _clicked_.

The others knew about their relationship. Despite being surprised that it was _Shiro and Lance_ who got together, they were very supportive.

Lance felt even more guilty about his purging habit since their relationship started because he knew Shiro deserved _much_ better than someone like him. Someone who didn’t do something like this. Shiro deserved someone who wouldn’t keep secrets, who was more attractive, and who was just more _useful_.

On top of that… Lance knew Shiro was starting to get suspicious. He had seen how his boyfriend looked at him earlier as he left the common room. They all went in there to watch a movie after dinner, waiting for the translator to finish creating English subtitles for the film Pidge picked out. Lance called out a quick excuse over his shoulder as he left, saying he’d be back, and caught Shiro’s worried gaze before the door slid shut behind him.

Lance had been getting more looks like that from him lately, and knew Shiro was worried about him. Lance was sure Shiro would leave him as soon as he found out about this.

He didn’t have time to think about this right now. He had to hurry up, change into his pajamas, and head back before anyone else came looking for him. Lance needed to keep up his facade of being okay. Nobody had the time or energy to worry about him, especially not Shiro.

So Lance, as he did every night, braced himself with one hand on the edge of the toilet before raising the other to his mouth. He stuck his fingers in until they touched the back of his throat, pushing harder to trigger his gag reflex. The action brought up some of the food, but it wasn’t enough. Lance was about to push back once more, but a voice stopped him.

“Lance, stop that!”

_Shit. It was Shiro_. Lance thought for sure that he’d locked his bedroom door. He didn’t even hear the sound of it opening or Shiro’s footsteps.

Lance quickly pulled his hand out of his mouth and turned towards his boyfriend. Both of them were wide-eyed and unsure of how to take this situation. It was Lance who broke the silence. “Shiro… I…”

He was at a loss of words, however, unable to hold his tears back. Shiro was kneeling on the floor in front of him now, Galra hand comfortingly rubbing circles over Lance’s back. His flesh hand wiped the tears from Lance’s face while he shushed him.

“It’s okay, Lance. It’s all going to be okay. I’m here for you.”

Lance couldn’t help but cry harder at the reassurance, falling forward into Shiro’s chest. They stayed there for a few minutes while Shiro held Lance tight, petting back his hair and whispering calming assurances into his ear.

Once Lance’s cries were calmed down to only sniffles, he pulled away and wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry… I got you shirt wet.”

Shiro looked down to see the dark, damp spot on his shirt. He scoffed and ruffled Lance’s hair to lighten the mood a bit. “Oh, I don’t care about that. Besides, I was just about to change into my pajamas. And… I’m more worried about _you_ right now anyway.”

Lance looked down in shame of what his boyfriend had just seen. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no more of that. You don’t need to apologize. None of this is your fault.”

“But-”

“Lance. Really, it’s okay.” Shiro stood up and offered out his flesh hand to Lance. “It’s late, we can talk about this tomorrow. How about we get changed and go join the others for that movie?” Lance nodded and took Shiro’s hand, standing up to come face-to-face with him. Shiro pulled him in for one last hug before the two of them exited the small bathroom together.

It was that moment when Lance realized that Shiro wasn’t at all disgusted, just worried. And with that final thought, he felt hope for the first time. Hope that, with Shiro’s help, they would finally be able to put a stop to all of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving a comment, they give me lots of motivation!
> 
> I'm thinking about writing at least one more chapter with Shiro and the team helping Lance through this, because there used to be a time in which I needed more comfort fics like this out there, so maybe I can be that for someone else. I could also write one chapter for each character helping Lance? Like one for Shiro, Hunk, Keith, etc. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas.
> 
> This is a request from my Tumblr, angstyzebra. Check it out [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/angstyzebra)!


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